My mobile rang, it was him again. Thanks to the creation of caller id, I have been avoiding his calls. I dont know why. Not that anything had happened, the other night. Or had he done anything bad to me. I just didnt know how to face him again. Knowing him for so long, I cannot imagine being in front of him - full monty. It'll be weird, really weird.
Come to think of it, I am really crazy. For that, do I have to loose a friend? Loose a friend whom I have known for more than a decade? I finally found my guts to call him back that night. Funny thing was his first question to me, "Are you drunk?" I suddenly felt my face turned red... He knew it all the while that I was avoiding his call, and for me to call him, I would have been drunk.
Anyway, I was glad I made that call. It was great, we talked and shared a lot of things. Not a single word was mention about that night. But he told me he would give his best to make me change my mind about being with him. Well, I guess that's nothing I could do.
Days and months went by, we were okay. Living lives as friends, very good friends. Then one rainy day, he called me asking me for dinner. Why not? We always have dinners and lunch together. Just another dinner.
He rang my door bell at 6 sharp. Hmm, how was I supposed to get ready that early. I opened the door for him. He looked extremely cute that night. The white shirt made his face look fresher. Neat. I asked if this was some kind of date, cause he normally comes in tshirt & jeans. He just smiled and sat on the sofa.
I quickly went into the room to get dressed. I already took out my jeans & tshirt, but on second thoughts, maybe I should redress myself. I took out my blue dress, not too short, long enough to cover my knees. Ready togo. "Where we going?" Silence...
Madness, why isnt he answering me? This is getting more annoying.
When we reach the restaurant, I was impressed. The surrounding was great, tall trees, plants everywhere. It looked a little spooky though. The ambience was great. He acted a little funny. After our desserts, he gave me a present. A small box, not too small. I opened it. I think I stood still with time for about a minute looking at what was in there.
Then my memories came back... I dont remember it. I have not thought of it, I have totally forgotten about this.
It was a bracelet (silver) I gave him about 13 years ago. I had one too. He is still keeping it? I didnt know where mine went. I totally forgot about this. It was the exact same one. How can someone keep a thing for such a long time? Not to mention a man...
in life, we imagine, dream, think, fantasize & visualize. these are my imaginations and thoughts.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Undying Love I
Must be the 2 bottles of rosѐ that made me pressed the 'send' button on my mobile. I havent called him in years and ....
Ed: Hello
Me: Hey, it's me, what u doing?
Ed: Nothing, just sitting at home watching tv. What's up? What made u call me at this time?
Me: Hmm, nothing... *silence*
Ed: U there? Are you drunk or something?
Me: *laugh* drunk? Are you kidding me? I drank, but not enough to get me drunk.
Ed: So where are you now?
Me: Me? I'm driving. Home
Ed: Oh... Your place's near my house right?
Me: Yup, hey, u alone? Since I havent been to your new place, can I drop by now?
Ed: Sure, come over, I will send u my address now. Just tell the security my house number.
We hung up and I thought to myself, "am I mad? What the hell was I doing? How can I do this? Why am I doing this? What have gotten into me?" Beep beep, the sound of the sms interupted my thoughts. It was his address.
I was shocked what alcohol had made me do. Anyway, while I was finding those answers to my questions, I realised I was in front of his guards, the guard asked me to go straight and take the first right turn, his house is on the left.
I stood in my car for a good minute before the gate opened. I guess the guard must have intercom telling him that his "supper" has arrived. How disgrace? But I was only dropping by to see his new house and well, we havent met for like 10 years, arent there things to share?
He came out. He looked as good as always. I came out of the car. I nearly couldnt stand up right. And at that moment, I didnt know whether it was the alcohol or the nervousness that made me cant stand right. Anyway, he waited and we walked into his beautiful home.
It was surprising how a bachelor could keep his house that clean and tidy. No extensive renovation, simple and nice. I liked it. He showed me around his house - the kitchen, the backyard, the garden, the living and his room. Cozy.
We then went back to the living, where he was watching CNN. I didnt know he was a news person. After a few minutes of chatting, I asked if he had anything to drink. I asked for wine, cause I hate to mix alcohol. But he hadnt kept any wine at home, he offered whiskey and brandy. I told him brandy will do. We drank and drank and lost the time.
He got closer, and closer. And I dont know how I ended up in his arms. He kissed me, and I didnt pushed him away. I kissed him back and everything started so fast I couldnt remember when and how. And when he unbuttoned my jeans, I pushed him away. I cant do that. I cannot do this not because I am divorce, but I didnt want to hurt his feelings again. He has loved me for so many years, and I dont deserve him.
He pulled me back so hard he didnt want to let me go. I forced myself out and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I woke. I opened the door, he was right there. He apologised, I said it's ok. Well, it wasnt so much of his fault, though. I was the one who called and went to him in the middle of the night. Who is at fault?
I took my bag and left.
I know he didnt do it on purpose. He is a normal man, after a few drinks there is a need, I understand. Moreover, he has loved me for all these years. And he knew I was divorced. There is no problem with seeing someone else. He hasnt been with a girl long enough to tell people she is the one, cause they are not me. I have never really fallen in love with him. But it's always nice to know that there is someone out there who still loves you despite you being married with 2 kids or until now divorced.
Ed: Hello
Me: Hey, it's me, what u doing?
Ed: Nothing, just sitting at home watching tv. What's up? What made u call me at this time?
Me: Hmm, nothing... *silence*
Ed: U there? Are you drunk or something?
Me: *laugh* drunk? Are you kidding me? I drank, but not enough to get me drunk.
Ed: So where are you now?
Me: Me? I'm driving. Home
Ed: Oh... Your place's near my house right?
Me: Yup, hey, u alone? Since I havent been to your new place, can I drop by now?
Ed: Sure, come over, I will send u my address now. Just tell the security my house number.
We hung up and I thought to myself, "am I mad? What the hell was I doing? How can I do this? Why am I doing this? What have gotten into me?" Beep beep, the sound of the sms interupted my thoughts. It was his address.
I was shocked what alcohol had made me do. Anyway, while I was finding those answers to my questions, I realised I was in front of his guards, the guard asked me to go straight and take the first right turn, his house is on the left.
I stood in my car for a good minute before the gate opened. I guess the guard must have intercom telling him that his "supper" has arrived. How disgrace? But I was only dropping by to see his new house and well, we havent met for like 10 years, arent there things to share?
He came out. He looked as good as always. I came out of the car. I nearly couldnt stand up right. And at that moment, I didnt know whether it was the alcohol or the nervousness that made me cant stand right. Anyway, he waited and we walked into his beautiful home.
It was surprising how a bachelor could keep his house that clean and tidy. No extensive renovation, simple and nice. I liked it. He showed me around his house - the kitchen, the backyard, the garden, the living and his room. Cozy.
We then went back to the living, where he was watching CNN. I didnt know he was a news person. After a few minutes of chatting, I asked if he had anything to drink. I asked for wine, cause I hate to mix alcohol. But he hadnt kept any wine at home, he offered whiskey and brandy. I told him brandy will do. We drank and drank and lost the time.
He got closer, and closer. And I dont know how I ended up in his arms. He kissed me, and I didnt pushed him away. I kissed him back and everything started so fast I couldnt remember when and how. And when he unbuttoned my jeans, I pushed him away. I cant do that. I cannot do this not because I am divorce, but I didnt want to hurt his feelings again. He has loved me for so many years, and I dont deserve him.
He pulled me back so hard he didnt want to let me go. I forced myself out and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I woke. I opened the door, he was right there. He apologised, I said it's ok. Well, it wasnt so much of his fault, though. I was the one who called and went to him in the middle of the night. Who is at fault?
I took my bag and left.
I know he didnt do it on purpose. He is a normal man, after a few drinks there is a need, I understand. Moreover, he has loved me for all these years. And he knew I was divorced. There is no problem with seeing someone else. He hasnt been with a girl long enough to tell people she is the one, cause they are not me. I have never really fallen in love with him. But it's always nice to know that there is someone out there who still loves you despite you being married with 2 kids or until now divorced.
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