From the first day (Pt V)

My phone rang at 7 sharp. A fairly punctual man. I went down and he was there. He was wearing a white shirt and jeans. He left the shirt 1/4 unbuttoned. Cool, I thought. I always like men in white shirts. No flowers, no gifts, ok that is not quite a date. Well, at least I know he wont be confessing. I hope not.

He brought me to a nice bar. I thought we were suppose to be having dinner. Anyway, it's ok. After we sat, we just talked, and then I wondered, why arent we ordering, I am hungry. Before I asked, the waiter brought soup. "I have ordered for us, hope you dont mind." I smiled... and then the dinner began. I loved the food.

We did not mention anything about that day. We just laughed and ate and drank. Before we knew it, we are already at our 3rd bottle of Moet Chandon.

"You heard what Dave & I said that day right?" he asked. Wow, that really caught me by surprise. I thought he would not ask. Oh dear, I was speechless, didnt know what to say. Finally I spilt out "aha."

"Erm, yes, I like you a lot. I have always liked you, even before the divorce." Me, silence again. "It's ok, you dont have to say anything. It's just something I need to get out of my heart. It has been there for so long. I feel so much better now. The other day when I saw you, I know I cannot let go of any chances, so I went massage with you. When the guy hit you, I felt the pain too. I'm so sorry."

I finally broke the silence, "Are you drunk?" what the hell, I am such an idiot, what a question.

He took my hand and put on his chest. His hand was warm, very, and so was his chest. I can feel his heart pumping. "Can you feel my heart? It beats this fast everytime I see you." he was looking into my eyes. "Give me another 2 bottles, then talk to me bout drunk."

I stood there, still. I really didn't know what to say. I like him, but I don't want to start anything. It's kind of hard for me to get back into a relationship again. What will my kids think? How are his family going to accept me? He interrupted my thoughts, "Are you ok?" I just looked at him - lost of words.

He let go off my hand. "I know it's hard for you to accept me in such a short time. You don't have to say anything, like I've said, I just wanted you to know how I feel." I don't know what made me hold his hands again. I took his hand and put on my chest. "This is how my heart beats whenever I see you."

From the first day (Pt IV)

With the social networking nowadays, you cant seem to have secrets. Most of the things can be obtained from the net. Thank god no one brought their cameras into the battlefield the other day. Anyway, I found something. I saw Dr. P's status update - Dr P dont know where to start? Hmm, is he talking about me? He doesnt know where to start asking me to go out? What is it? Why do I care? I'm really not ready to go into another relationship just yet. Yes, having all that attention again is good. Every girl loves attention. I love attention too.

What do I do if he really confess? Where should we start? I dont want to start anything, I dont want to loose him as a friend either. I dont know what I want, women are just too fickle.

Today is a Thursday, my massage day. Do you think he will be there waiting for me again? Do you think we should share the same room again? Should I go today? Well, why not? I cant change my routine. So I changed and drove to my usual parlour. I felt my heart beating so fast while I push open the doors. But he wasnt there. No sight of him. I went in and had my massage.

I left for home. Logged on to FB and found a message in my inbox.

"Sorry unable to join you for massage tonight, something came up. Hope you had a great one."

Looking at the message made me think,

1) why is he telling me this?
2) has my massage routine been his routine as well?

I was puzzled, then my phone rang:

HE: Hi, how was your massage?
ME: Oh, great, just that my massuer was shock when she saw my back with those bruises
HE: I'm so sorry
ME: It's ok, u didnt do it
HE: Well, I did in a way. I asked you to play. Anyway, you free for dinner tomorrow?
ME: Should be ok
HE: Ok I'll pick you at 7

The next day seemed to be so slow. When the clock struck 5pm, I packed and left for home. I went up to dress myself. I was ready by 6pm.

From the first day (Pt III)

The day finally came. I was all dressed up to the game. In my camouflauge shirt and my cargo pants. He said he can pick me but I thought it would be better that I drive. When I reached there, people came to say hi. They kinda recognise me, but didnt ask where hubs was. They know. Oh dear, and now I am there because of Dr. P, what would they think.

Anyway, the game started, Dr. P brought me around. He kinda protected me. Cool, it's really nice, to feel the sence of security. I didnt really shoot though. I was just hiding behind the bushes and Dr P. Then suddenly I felt pain at my back. A lot of shots. I felt my tears coming out. It was really painful. Then I heard, STOP!!!

A newbie came up from behind and attacked us. According to the rules, they are not suppose to shoot at a certain distance, and this was way too near. My back was burning. Dr. P pushed the guy down and scolded him. He was going to start a fight, but the marshals stopped him. He came up to me and pulled me up. The newbie apologised so much, I know he didnt do it on purpose, but it was really painful. I said it was ok. Just that my pain activated the tear.

We changed and the guy came up to me several times apologising. Dr. P sat next to me the whole time and he apologised too, for bringing me to this game. I said it was ok, I'm sure there wont be scars. If there is, I'll go look for him. He said he will always be there. Anyway, I packed everything and said bye to them. Dave asked how I was too and he said sorry also. Funny, it's ok, it's just a small matter. I left and went to my car. Only then I realised I left my keys on the bench. I went back and...

Dave: What are you doing? How can you scold the boy like that?
Dr P: He shouldnt shoot at that range. It's really dangerous.
Dave: Yes, we all know that. He didnt do it on purpose.
Dr P: I know, then he should learn the lesson this time
Dave: He sure did. You dont have to start a fight. You have to know your position. Is there something going on between you & her?
Dr P: Nothing is going on
Dave: You really think we dont know? There must be something.
Dr P: Nothing is going on between us. Yes, I like her, that's all and she doesn't know anything
Dave: Aha. I knew it
Dr P: Please, just don't say anything. She doesn't know anything

"Hey Jill, you still here? Thought you went home?" a guy asked from behind me. Both Dave & Dr P turned their attention to me, speechless.

ME: Hmmm... I .... ermm.... ( I was really shocked and lost of words) I left my keys, gonna take it back now.
I went pass Dave & Dr.P, to get the keys, and went straight to the car. Dr. P followed.

HE: Hi, erm, how's your back?
ME: Oh, ok, it's good.
HE: Remember to put some medicated lotion, the bruises will go off very soon
ME: Ok I will, I better get going.
HE: Erm... ok, take care.

I am really bad at this. I knew it, I knew he likes me, but when it really comes, I just dont know how to handle.

From the first day (Pt II)

It was the weekly massage day again. Then I remembered Dr.P. It has already been a week since we went massage together and shared conversations over a cup of coffee. And only then I remembered we didnt exchanged numbers. How could this happened? No wonder he hasnt called. Now how am I suppose to contact him? Or is that all? Dont think he is going to call hubs or friends to ask for my number. Me neither.

As I swung open the massage parlours door, there he was sitting there.

HE: Hi
ME: Hi, is this a coincident?
HE: Nope, I purposely came to wait for you. Hehe, no, the massuer is too good. I need to come back.
(What an excuse)

The girl at the counter said, "Hi, I'm so sorry, we do not have enough rooms. Since you know each other, can you share the twin room?

ME: Huh? Really? When is the next available time?
SHE: We close at 10, so this is the last call.
HE: It's ok, she can go in.
ME: Hmm... that's not right, you came first. You go in.
HE: Ok, I'm ok to share, if you're alright. I promise I dont snore.

Well, since I need this massage so much and thai-style can leave our clothes on, I agreed. This is kind of fast, sharing a massage room with a stranger. Dont know whether it's a good thing or bad. Anyway, I didnt sleep for that 1.5 hours again. He didnt too, and I felt him looking at me quite a number of times. I just pretended to sleep. He did removed his shirt though and yes I did took a peep while he looked the other way. He was so well built, with tattoos here & there.

After that, we went for a drink again. He finally asked for my number. We laughed and talked. I know he went there to meet me. I knew it. I was flattered.

When I reached home, I got an sms from him, "good nite, had a great night". I replied, "me too."
The next morning, fairly early in the morning, he called, asking me to join him for the game this weekend. After much persuades, I said yes and told him to make sure, no one I know goes.

From the first day (Pt I)

I have known Doc since 2 years ago. We were introduced over coffee by my husband. I do see him once in a while when I go play paintball with him. Either than that, nope. I have a good impression of him, and was kinda attracted to him. I felt he was attracted to me too. Well, dont doubt a woman's sensitivity. We just know it. And since I have been divorced, we dont see each other anymore and I did not think of him much too. Well, dont expect me to call him and ask him for a drink. That is just not me.


Only until last week, I met him in the mall. I was going there for my weekly massage and ran into him. I was going up the elevator while he was going down. We exchanged our "hellos" and that's it. I looked back, he came up behind me. I waited for him.


HE: Hi, havent seen you in a while. How're you?
ME: Hi, I'm good. You?
HE: Very good. Where you going?
ME: Oh, I'm going for a massage. Wanna join? (just asking casually)
HE: Sure. Where?

I was surprised. It's weird to invite him to a massage, it was weirder for him to join.


I brought him in and we went to our separate rooms for an hour and a half of relaxing massage. For the whole 1.5 hours, I didnt sleep. I was just thinking about him. Why? The 1.5 hours seemed longer than usual. After it ended, I quickly dressed up and checked my hair then went to meet him. He just got out of his room too.


ME: How was it?
HE: Great, I slept like a pig. Did you hear me snore?
ME: Hahaha, nope. Lucky we didnt share room
HE: Just kidding, I dont snore. Okay, now, let's go for a drink
ME: Drink? Like this? (refering to my dressing - I was wearing shorts)
HE: Hello... drink as in a coffee, not the alcohol drinking

*I can feel myself blushing*


We went to Starbucks and talked. He knew that I was divorced. He knew quite a lot about us. I expected Hubs to tell them all the bad things bout me, instead, he didnt say anything. He just said I'm a nice girl and things just didnt work out for us. Hmm... that's better. He was right, it was nothing bad that we have done. No affairs, no men no women. Just mutual agreement that we were not meant for each other.

He even invited me to paintball, which I totally have no interest in. Well, another reason is that I just felt weird seeing hubs there. I went there before and we were husband and wife, now if I go, it'll be weird and there will be so much talking about us behind. Forget it. "Dont worry, Jay doesnt play anymore."

Wow, can he read my mine or what? He answered directly to my thoughts. I smiled and agreed, but definitely not in the near future. Not now. Maybe after a month or two. So after an hour of talking, we finally left for home, separately.

Didnt You Know? Pt III

20 minutes later, I was all dressed and went over to press on Ed's room bell. Ed opened the door, he looked great. I havent seen looking so good for a long time. He came out and closed the doors behind him. I was puzzled, "Where's little missy?" "Oh, she need to go look for her relative, she left." "Oh dear, poor fella, so you're left alone. haha. ok then, let's celebrate being left alone."

He brought me to a posh restaurant. I'm surprised he knows his way around so well. He looked different today, extra caring. Well, I know he cares about me a lot, but today is different. He made me felt like his girl. Hmm, maybe he is just being caring now that I am all alone in a foreign land. As I was about to order, he stopped me and said he will order for me. Oooh... taking control huh. I dont mind, I sat and listen. He ordered all of my favorites. He knows I dont like wine, he ordered rose. After dinner, we finished 2 bottles. We shared a lot. We have had lots of dinners together, but this one was special. I have never felt so close to him before. Or maybe it was the culprit - the 2 bottles of rose.

Anyway, he paid the bill and we made our way to a bar near by. It was a very nice bar, packed. People were dancing and drinking and chatting away. We continued drinking, just cocktails. He ordered everything for me. He took good care of me for the whole of tonight.

We danced and talked and laughed so much. We were swaying away, still laughing, but I couldnt recall what we were laughing or talking about. Was I that drunk? Nope, I know what's happening, I know he is Ed. I know he is my very good friend. I know nothing is going to happen between us. I know... I know... I didnt know I can be so relax and comfortable with him.

I think must be the alcohol level rising, we got closer to each other. We were never this close. I can actually smell his cologne. We continued dancing, and the place was too packed. Then I felt someone pushed me, and then Ed held me in his arms. It felt so good, I didnt want to get out of them. I had to, he pulled me back and whispered, "You are so beautiful." He kissed me on my forehead. I didnt know what to say or do. But it just felt so special. Then only did I realised, we were meant for each other...